The following checklist is offered as a tool to aid self-evaluation.
DENIAL PATTERNS: Codependents… Have difficulty identifying feelings. Minimize, alter or deny their feelings. Perceive themselves as being completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
LOW SELF-ESTEEM PATTERNS: Codependents… Have difficulty making decisions. Judge their thoughts, works and actions harshly, as never being good enough. Are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts. Are unable to ask others to meet their needs or wants. Value other people’s approval of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors over self-approval.
COMPLIANCE PATTERNS: Codependents…. Compromise their values and integrity to avoid rejection and other people’s anger. Are very sensitive to others’ feelings and assume the same feelings. Are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long. Place a higher value on others’ opinions and are afraid to express differing viewpoints or feelings. Put aside personal interests and hobbies to do what others want. Accept sex as a substitute for love.
CONTROL PATTERNS: Codependents… Believe most others are incapable of caring for themselves. Attempt to convince others what they should think or feel. Become resentful when others refuse their offers of help. Freely offer advice and guidance without being asked. Lavish gifts and favors on those they care about. Use sex to gain approval and acceptance. Have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others. I know this can be helpful in any situation.