COMPLAINT: I hate you, you never understand me.
REACTOR: You never tell me anything…….you’re a B____.
COMPLAINT: You’re a A__ H—-. I hate you.
REACTOR: I’m going to leave, you’ll be sorry.
COMPLAINT: Go ahead I don’t care!
COMPLAINT: I feel that I am misunderstood.
RESPONDER: Do you feel I misunderstand you?
COMPLAINT: Yes, I feel I am not heard.
RESPONDER: I am sorry you believe I misunderstand you. What don’t I understand?
COMPLAINT: Did you hear me when I asked you how I looked?
RESPONDER: No, I didn’t, I am sorry I guess my mind was somewhere else. I can see why you’d feel the way you feel.
COMPLAINT: I would like you to notice my efforts as I am not feeling good about myself.
RESPONDER: Ok, I will be more aware, and I appreciate that you want to look your best. you do look very nice.
COMPLAINT: Thanks. I guess I am a little sensitive right now.
RESPONDER: Thats ok…I need to notice more.
HINT: Keep accusations out of the conversation, feeling statements about self, not the other, and keep the voice down.
Let “me” be of “guidance” in your life situations.