Most of us have been abused emotionally: too many of us have been abused physically or sexually. Abused children tend to grow up into abusive adults. We have been taught not to value ourselves and not to take on our own needs. A script dictated that we are not worthy of being treated well, that we are “bad” and need to be punished. Our early abuse robs us of our basic integrity and awareness of our innate goodness. It teaches that we have a terrible dark side that we must be afraid of. Abuse teaches us to be afraid and not trust ourselves, that we don’t deserve to be safe and loved. The script is a lose-lose situation this produces a vicious and dangerous cycle. This does not have to be a hopeless situation. The way out of this script is to realize that you do not have to live it. You do not deserve it. You can not control it. You are completely blameless. Any one who was abused must except you were a victim and that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Let go of all guilt –it is not yours. This is a critical first step. The second step is to realize that you are good. This goodness is innate—it came into the world with you and it will leave with you, unless you deny it and to act against it. Say to yourself ” I am good” many times until you believe this. When you have completed these two steps you will be ready to heal yourself. The healing process begins with anger. This anger is healthy and not to be avoided. You do need to turn this anger in a constructive way. You do not need to turn this anger into abusive behavior to self or others. After anger, forgiveness occurs. The final script is becoming free. With forgiveness. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your own behaviors. If you continue to abuse yourself or others, now it is your fault because you know you have choices. There is no need to punish yourself or be destructive. You can love yourself, accept your dark side, forgive yourself for your mistakes. Let go of your painful past and go on with the business of living life to the best of your abilities. If you choose to continue to hate yourself, that now is your choice to behave in destructive ways, recognize that now this is your choice and not the fault of faulty training. Your inner child is now your victim. This child deserves to be loved, deserves to be safe and secure. You are the only one who can compensate for the past. What better purpose do you have for your life?