Criticism of others reflects our own level of insecurity. It is impossible to accept others, and their weakness and mistakes, if we cannot accept ourselves. The more unsure we are about ourselves, the more faults we look for faults in others. This is one way of excusing our own faults: we justify ourselves by critizing others.
The western model seems to need comparison with others and judgement of everything and everyone as part of the competitive edge that we have been taught to acquire as a means of success. We criticize others to help us to feel better about ourselves.
One problem with judging others is that whle it may tend to make us feel better to focus on others’ faults than our own and it may seem to lesson our own insecurities, it is a very short lived remedy. Then we wonder what others; are saying about us? As soon as we recognize we are not immune from being judged, our insecurities increase, our defenses go up and we become even more critical and judgemnetal. The circle leads to a Weak Ego.
Judgement and criticism are closely realated to expectations. We criticize when we expect something to occur and it does not happen. Judging others implies comparing them to something and who has the right to know what that ultimate something is? When we criticize or judge others, are we not perceiving our standards or beliefs or failures on others?
All judgement and criticism, of ourselves or of others, implies the need to be perfect. Once we give this up, once we accept that no one can be perfect, then we no longer need to engage in the destructive and discouraging practice of judging others. We can accept and let others be. We become encouragers.