Being possessive of things or of people is another way to demon starting our own insecurities. It means we are trying to fulfill our own from external sources. We become possessive when we are unsure of ourselves and need others or things to convince us we are unsure of ourselves and need others to do things to convince us of our self worth. We have been taught that our worth is determined by what we possess and what we focus on external rather than internal possessions. We become possessive of someone else’s love when we do not know how to love ourselves. We become collectors of things when we do not feel convinced that we are not enough. Everything outside of ourselves in not ours. It may be a loan to us for a period of time but it is not ours to keep. When we are possessive , we often try to keep things, to cling to them. The paradox here is clinging to something results to losing it. Possessiveness fosters jealousy and jealousy destroys what is what it purports to love. It is very difficult to act in a loving way and to encourage growth when we are afraid of losing the object of that so-called love. Possessive love is not real love, rather it describes real need. It becomes a burden and stops from loving ourselves. The only way to stop becoming possessive, of others and of things, is to take care of your own needs to be loved and esteemed. Stop perceiving the world through self-centered eyes. You are not the center of anything except yourself. The next time you feel possessive of someone, the next time you want someone to reassure you, try doing it yourself. Let the people and things you love be. Do not expect them to fill your needs. the paradox here: the less possessive , the more love you will be. The less possessive you are, the more they will want to be around you. Remember, you can not be possessive and also have Self-Esteem. Possessiveness is about needs; Self-Esteem. is about love and choices. Possessiveness is a prison; Self-Esteem is freedom. Which do you choose?